| i miss leo. i miss feeling like i fit in. i miss not feeling fat. i miss sam and brent. i miss feeling like a part of my family.
wait, what family?
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college keeps asking me to go beyond the surface...to speak in a connotative language.
i feel like all i say and hear is complete, pretentious bullshit.
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dear dad,
sometimes i wonder if you think about me. is it fair i've never really had a father figure in my life? you moved to new york and we don't talk. that's fine i guess. i just wanted to let you know that i cry at night sometimes. i ball until my face and pillow are soaked with tears. i'm not really sure why. it may sound off cuff but i think its all those days of hearing people say things like "my dad is so cool"...."me and my dad"...
i know its vague and weird but i wish those people knew how lucky they are. i think i cry because even after 10 years it still hurts. it will probably always feel this way too. maybe one day things will be better, but who knows.
your daughter,
steph
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after 6 months i couldn't resist temptation. i am disappointed in myself...why do i care so much about what other people think of me?
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this is a fresh, clean start....right?
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