i miss my pets. i need to do homework. yet i am on here. ugh

its like now that i dont want you, you want me.

i am still not strong enough to say no to you (yet) and i think you know that. i obviously still like you but not like before.

i dont expect anything to come from us now. you had your chance. time to move on.

now i am scared to see how you will react to me seeing another guy. this boy opens doors for me and lights candles.

he makes me smile and so far things are going really well. i am happy, truly.

tomorrow i help open the worlds first pizza museum & pizzeria. i am so stressed and tired and have more than enough to do tomorrow, but instead i prayed. i got down on my knees and asked God to watch over us tomorrow.

so much of myself and the people i love has gone into this. hopefully its the best pizza party ever thrown. word.

i dont think ill ever be in a relationship again. maybe when i am older but right now i am too busy and guys only want to fuck me.

i mean thats what ive become right? your thursday fuck? i told you i didnt want to be your fuck buddy but of course when you ask me to dance i cant say no. 

and we all know where that leads us.

anyway, pnbr went awesome. still beat but happy. hopefully i can kick as much ass organizing pizza brains grand opening. wordddd

first and only post from europe. i am going to miss it here.

i needed this trip to get way from everything. to find out what truly matters when you are submersed in a place where figuring out how to open a door can be a task.

i did it and i am proud to say that. but honestly i couldnt have done it without vale and my other friends here.

friends are so important.

oh shit i should probably get ready for italy

thinking about getting a tattoo before i leave...

also, i love the whole red hair, red hair thing.

i dont know whats going on anymore. i am trying to get over you but you keep sending me mixed signals. 

am i playing it too cool? are you trying to rekindle things? do i even want to try this again?

obviously not since i bought a ticket to italy, but when i see you out i just want to grab you and start dancing.

its funny, the first time we "met" we danced at the barbary and i gave you my number. i still dont know how you recognized me from my 21st at dirty franks.

the other night at the rat haus you walked into the room where i was dancing (completely drunk) and started dancing with me.

i feel like that was the book ending i needed. even when i was walking towards my bike to go home and you yelled after me "where are you going"

i knew i wasnt staying the night at your house. no matter how convenient it would have been.

when i lay it out here in black and white i guess things are over. i dont think i'm upset as much as i am disappointed. 

i guess i thought you were different, that we were different and i really wanted things to work.

oh well, thus is life.

even in this heat, i will keep biking. 10 miles for fun yesterday plus my daily commute.

if i didnt constantly drink beer i bet i would look pretty damn good.

you're one of my best friends and you're mad at me.

i have no idea what to do but to give you space and apologize.

i really dont want to lose you as a friend but its hard to move on when i don't even know what i did

"i really like you and that scares me"

"well that makes two of us"