i hope this is the right move.

its the obvious move, but i just want it to be right too.

i dont think ive ever had a better boyfriend than you

words are hard for me right now though i do have an immense amount of them swimming in my head currently

i just wanted to let you know that i love you and ill see you someday

rest easy mike

"are there the young being bad tonight?"

no...not if i plan on keeping my sanity and organization and state of mind, no. i will not be bad.

i will sleep and do my work and graduate.

What am I doing after college? Do I up root and go somewhere new or do I stay where I think I have friends.

Where I feel comfortable and have opportunities to succeed.

I really just need to find my niche

i cant feel anything, anymore.

2012 was a year that started out with me being so ambiguous

now i'm just trying to hold on to what little i remember about who i am 

i dont think i'll ever find a guy. 

i need to stop doing drugs and drinking so much. my drive and motivation are so shot right now.

i guess i just dont really belong anywhere

i am in a funk and hoping the bike expo this weekend will help get me out of it

the 4 bs: bikes, beer, my best friend and bike boys

if that doesnt help i dont know what will

welp, guess things werent meant to happen between us.

you were obviously still going over things with your ex and well...things with josh are still in a weird place right now.

i am so adjusted to just feeling nothing it was nice to be adults about it.

now if i could just stop doing this dance with josh maybe id have a shot at something real.

i am starting to think nothing is real. that in the end maybe things are just better off like this

i fucked up. you are the nicest, greatest guy i've seen in awhile. 

and what do i do? get blackout and yell at you about things i don't even care about.

i dont think you'll ever look at me the same way, like a puppy in love. but you are sticking around for some reason.

i havent done something like this since gabe, which is crazy.

must mean i really like you.

i could get all drama like and talk about how i told you i needed to move on and that i deserve bettter 

and you agreed.

but you wont leave me alone now. you got drunk and told me how wonderful i am. why are you doing this to me?

i have someone else now to tell me those nice things. and HE makes me happy